Feeling fulfilled, desired, attractive and connected to one’s partner are some of the most common desires inherent to human beings. The hormones of pleasure and happiness that the brain releases at the moment of passion, attraction and sexual play, provoke that rush of adrenaline and joy. But what are the sexual secrets that lead to this?
Whether alone or with a partner, having a good time, enjoying intense orgasms and having a fulfilling sex life is at the top of everyone’s wish list. Regardless of age, sex or time of life.
However, those who think that everything is easy when it comes to sexuality are wrong. Just as there are the well-known taboos, myths and clichés about sex, there are also sexual secrets that no one (or almost no one) talks about.
Those things that are often taken for granted and end up being left out of a more sexual conversation or even in explicitly racy ones.
Why do some people not talk so openly about sex?
After many years of shame, taboos and prejudices, the consequence has been a reduction of discussion on sexual matters. However, having an open dialogue about sex and sexuality is a barrier that, fortunately, is gradually being removed in society. This is a good thing, as encouraging such conversations is important both as a form of self-knowledge and as a way of becoming aware of pleasure, health and well-being.
In a simple and precise way, without taboos, reflection on sexuality can help people in many ways. Among them, to know themselves better, to feel more pleasure, to connect more with sexual partners and even to have more orgasms! That’s why it’s so important to know all the sexual secrets that no one talks about.
Couples who talk openly about their sexuality tend to be happier and have a more fulfilling sex life. Unfortunately people are not soothsayers or mind readers yet. That is why it is often necessary to give a little push, or rather, to guide the partner about what one likes, what one desires and enjoys in order to make life, the development of the relationship and the pleasure between the sheets easier.
The sexual secrets no one talks about
Understanding sexual matters can reduce discomfort or embarrassment when talking about them. It can also increase willingness to change mindsets and behaviours in and out of bed. Therefore, it is crucial to know the sexual secrets that no one discusses. Some of them are predictable, or better known. Others, on the other hand, are a little stranger as they don’t follow or resemble popular beliefs about what sex should be like and what is normal to enjoy over the years. Let’s get down to it…
Sexual secrets or obsession? The right sexual frequency
There is no cake recipe with predetermined ingredients to it. Therefore, neither is there one right or desired frequency for everyone. Every couple and person has different sexual dynamics and appetites. The same goes for the “normal” amount of sex per week, per month or per year. The important thing is to connect with the partner to understand the rhythm that works best for both of you.
Debunking sexual secrets. Women enjoy sex too
Gone are the days when desire and overt sexuality were gendered. Today, it’s a thing of the past. Men don’t always have more sexual appetite than women, and women don’t always want a commitment after sex. The days have changed, thankfully!
Sex can sometimes be messy
Yes, sex can be messy sometimes. But there’s nothing wrong with that. Sheets can get stained, partners can get dirty, sweat, make strange noises, sneeze, have fits of laughter and many others. There is no script. It is important to let go of the idea that everything has to go as planned to be pleasurable. There is also beauty in the unexpected.
Unlocking sexual secrets: Good sex without orgasms exists
This is perhaps one of the biggest sexual secrets that no one talks about. Many people end up faking it to meet the standard of successful sex. Yet this shouldn’t happen. Not everyone has an orgasm with penetration. Just as not all orgasms are explosive and loud. Perhaps, at the moment of sex it is necessary to use a stimulating sex toy to achieve it. It could be many things… But having or not having an orgasm does not have to define whether or not the sexual intercourse was pleasurable enough.
Sex is not a show
This is one of the sexual secrets that no one talks about and that has long been reinforced by the porn industry. No, sex is not a performance. So the people involved don’t have to do 10 different positions, ejaculate madly to demonstrate pleasure or last “x” or “z” amount of time having sex for it to be good. Simplification is the best way. Be clear, communicate preferences, ask about each other’s desires and limits and enjoy the moment without thinking about much else.