Easy things are boring, or so they say. It seems that if you have to work hard to get something first, it is more attractive and desirable. Why? Because not everyone can have it. In this way, many people play at being “difficult”, that is, at appearing unattainable so that their suitors will try harder.
It’s like a card game. Revealing the cards, or playing to your best at first, is usually not advisable. Good strategy requires a bit of gambling and mystery. It’s the same with interest and people.
The bad boy, the most difficult
There are countless movies, novels and series that feature such a character. A man, usually young, with a somewhat traumatic past and out of the ordinary. He likes to go against the rules and is shrouded in mystery.
A type of guy that all the female characters fall in love with and want to change him, but only the protagonist, sweet and unintentionally innocent, succeeds. Despite fighting and messing with her initially.
Why is it so popular and so successful? many people may ask. Well, it is precisely that aura of mystery, that intrigue, that touch of difficulty. The desire to understand that person, to know what they think and why they act the way they do.
As masochists and lovers of suffering, many continue, yearning even for a word. But beware, the opposite is also true. That image of a woman who is “above it all”. All smiles and friendliness, she chooses her outfits and takes care of every detail subtly to draw attention to herself indirectly, yet she speaks and focuses her attention on only a few.
The forbidden
How many times has hearing “don’t do it” or “can’t do it” only made the urge increase? Even the best person is curious to try. Including Adam and Eve fell into temptation, so why not the rest?
A friend’s sister, in the parents’ bed, an ex…. There are many situations and people who seem to gain attraction when they can’t be done or are “forbidden”. Like moths to light, people are attracted to them without being able to avoid it.
A freshly baked cake, a recently cleaned floor… Just once, just a bit, no one will notice…. The difficult, the risky, the impossible, attracts more.
Getting carried away and ending up falling into temptation usually ends either very well or very badly. But at that point you don’t know and it doesn’t matter.
The myth of romantic love
The better half and Prince Charming. When a person is attracted to someone, they tend to idealise the object of their attraction, as if they were perfect and oblivious to their faults. Naturally, this makes them even more attractive.
The tricky and difficult part comes when one has to live up to expectations. The image that most love stories show is full of clichés that can be expected in real life forever, which is not going to happen. Or, at least, it’s very complicated.
That glance meeting, that falling in love at first sight, those happy endings…. The reality and people are much more complex.
Being difficult, one lime and one sand
Putting someone on hold, waiting 5 hours to reply to a message on purpose, ignoring someone and even rejecting them – why do these kinds of things to be more attractive?
Is it harder that way and therefore will it attract their attention so that more effort is made to approach? In person, it’s all smiles and glances from a distance, but outside of that, nothing.
Because it is an excessive burden and if you know that the person will respond immediately, whatever the time and reason, the interest in them decreases. On the other hand, if you keep them in traps, like in tension movies, the opposite will happen.
However, be careful, because playing with this strategy can be dangerous. For you have to know the perfect balance between attention and rejection. The ups and downs of the attention rollercoaster cannot be stretched too far because it will end up yielding and getting the opposite effect to the one wanted.
So playing hard to get work?
Desire, attraction and love are uncontrollable things, feelings and emotions. They arise and evolve without much being done to contain them. Despite the fact that many “experts” try to give lessons on the subject.
What is true is that there are certain patterns and attitudes that seem more attractive. If only there was a list of steps to follow to increase that desire, or to attract the attention of more people or the particular person one is most interested in.
What is certainly important to do, is to be clear about what you want. Whether it’s a relationship and what kind, something more sporadic or nothing at all. Whatever it is, knowing your boundaries and what you want is crucial to seeking and finding it. Reject what is below and achieve happiness.
Taking things step by step and letting yourself be seen, taking advantage of strategies, advice and help from those close to you, but without losing your own essence along the way. Show confidence in yourself and be positive in attracting those you desire or be a moth by letting yourself be seduced by the charm of others.