Falling in love, having genuine connections that inspire them and bring them passion is the desire of almost everyone. Quite rightly so, as the whole seduction game tends to bring out the best in people. It improves self-esteem and mood, bringing out the calmest, most relaxed and contented version of oneself. In this way it makes everyone more willing to venture out and enjoy all the wonders that a relationship can bring. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? Yes, it does, but unfortunately it’s not all rose-coloured these days. This is because there is the feared affective burnout syndrome.
That feeling of demotivation and loneliness in which one loses the illusion and the desire to move forward. In this case with the partner, although it can have many different aspects. So, how to overcome it without putting an end to the relationship? Or rather, how to avoid it?
Understanding Burnout Syndrome
The word Burnout has its origin in English (To burn out), and its literal translation is “to burn out completely”. The term originated after the German psychoanalyst Herbert Freudenberger worked so hard that he became bedridden as a result.
Since then, there has been much talk about the different types of Burnout, although the most commonly used is that of the professional sphere, as suggested by the psychoanalyst. With an ever-lengthening list of things to do, people feel more and more reflected in the premises of burnout.
And that is also where the discussion about burnout syndrome in couples, or affective burnout, as many call it, started.
Burnout syndrome in couples
Burnout syndrome can be explained and understood in simple words. Such as tiredness, exhaustion from doing or trying to do something repeatedly or excessively.
In the context of relationships, it would be more or less the famous “pulling the cart alone”. That is, when only one person in the couple makes or feels that he or she is making all the effort to make everything work well and progress in the relationship.
Affective burnout syndrome can occur basically to any person involved. However, it is also true that women are the ones who, to a greater extent, come as patients to clinics to treat this syndrome. According to specialists, this can easily be due to the fact that women often play many roles. Be it professional, home care, in a relationship and/or motherhood. And for this reason they may feel more fatigued and responsible.
How to overcome affective burnout syndrome?
This is a very topical issue that is reinforced by the amount of information handled, the rush of everyday life, household chores and much more. Therefore, it is more than necessary to pay attention to it. Especially to be able to continue to enjoy the joy and passion that is so vital and healthy for relationships.
Below are some tips for when fatigue hits the relationship. Although it is not necessary to wait until it reaches the extreme of Burnout, it is better to be safe than sorry. Here are some tips:
1) Understand the feelings
It is not always easy to differentiate emotions and feelings within the many roles one plays in life. There are many cases of people who are dissatisfied with their professional life and therefore end up projecting it onto their relationship. The opposite is also true. That is why, first of all, it is necessary to identify what one feels. So that, from there, it is possible to talk about it and find solutions.
2) Expressing feelings
This may seem obvious, but it is not. Many people keep their dissatisfaction about their relationship to avoid upsetting their partner. However, this often has the opposite effect. Their partner has no way of knowing and often doesn’t even realise what is going on. Therefore, transparent and honest conversations are necessary to prevent affective burnout syndrome.
3) Time for oneself and time for one’s partner
Sharing quality time together is essential to rekindle the flame of love. It can be a trip, a dinner at home with a drink, a cinema session just for the two of them…. Everything is valid to escape routine and monotony. To alleviate the tiredness that can sometimes be caused by the passage of time doing the same thing.
However, time alone is also extremely important. Yes, one must know and take care of oneself. Even if it means taking time off to do absolutely nothing and just be on their own. That is healthy and necessary.
4) Ask for help and avoid Burnout Syndrome
Unfortunately, nobody manages to do everything on their own. Asking for help is fundamental for the health of relationships, and for the health of oneself. Reorganise tasks and ask a partner for help, delegate things that can be done by others, and last but not least: seek medical help. Having specialist support can work miracles when it comes to dealing with burnout syndrome of all kinds. In the case of affective burnout, it is very helpful in reducing the emotional pressure that can be felt at this time.